Hopeless Romantic
by newfoundme
Summary: what if faith didn't have the strength to admit everything to Buffy?


**Disclaimer:** Buffy belongs to Mr. Whedon.

**A/N:** yay for me!! I finally get to write a one shot. Whew,so much for trying. I hope my poem fits the story. Well, please tell me what you think. I love reviews and I'll hug you for it! Deal? Please? I'm down on my knees.. begging… enjoy!

**ANGEL**

5:26 am. The sun will almost rise in a few minutes, almost. But unlike any other mornings, it doesn't shine like it should be. For some reasons, you will still feel the chill left by the cold night a few hours ago. Though everything beyond that seems to be normal, some things just don't feel right about it. While Angel's thoughts drifted to a certain rouge slayer who had become his friend, his ally and at some point the little sister he had always dreamed of. He protected her, he saved her and most of all he loved her more than he could ever love the love of his life. They had a connection, even though unsaid and unheard, they both share it. He knows her secrets, she knows his. They are so different yet the same. They love the same woman but the only difference is that he loved, past. She did, she does and she will always love her. Yes, Buffy Summers. Her weakness. His strength.

**2 days ago…**

**FAITH**

He saw her downside. He was there when everyone wasn't. He showed her protection, he taught her to trust, to let down her defenses for once and the one thing she will never forget about him is that he showed and taught her how to love and be loved. A lesson she has hard time learning. She is a person who thinks and feels more than anyone thought she's capable of. More than she ever let anyone know but there's always an exception – Angel. Her confidant, her refuge, her family.

She wished it's enough. She will risk everything just to let it be. But the connection isn't as strong as Buffy's. It's as if she's her lifeline, her heart beats only if she lets her. How? Why? She's damned not to know. She wanted to tell her, to lay it out for her just to make it easier. No. want is not even an option because even if she wanted to, she wouldn't. Buffy wanted normal and she's everything that's not. She can't give her everything she wanted. She hurt her more than she could hurt anyone. She hurt her friends, her family; she even hurt herself for her. That's how tangled up her system is. She'll die before she could even tell her. She's complicated that way and she knows it. So she writes. Her first and last. The love letter of a hopeless romantic.

_**Look at me, do you like what you see?**_

_**Touch my face, hold my hand**_

_**Do you feel anything, anything at all?**_

_**Well there you go, deal with it**_

_**That's all the answers, you asked for it**_

_**I'm not stupid to know, think I'm too blind to see?**_

_**I maybe numb but you're all I can feel.**_

_**Make it stop.. make this stop**_

_**Peel off my skin if you have too, just make it stop.**_

_**Tears run dry, I couldn't cry. Not tonight, not anymore.**_

_**You say you're sorry that you're to blame**_

_**Hey, I took the fire and put out the flame.**_

_**Say all you want to say, I'm just too tired to hear**_

_**Listen babe, cross this line already**_

_**I'm not going anywhere with you anymore…**_

_**I'm not stupid to know, I was afraid but I'll deal**_

_**Maybe I'm too blind to see it before**_

_**But I know you've tried, if I'd let you.. but I won't.**_

_**Make it stop! Make this stop!**_

_**Peel off my skin if you have to just make it stop!**_

_**You've got my heart but I already ripped it off**_

_**I'd bleed for you, I'm bleeding now, I'll bleed some more.**_

_**All for you babe, all for you. It hurts but it's all for you..**_

_**Goodbye and goodnight, I know you'll be alright.**_

It's 5:26 am. No blood. No everything. Just a girl lying on her bed in a peaceful slumber. No trace of fear or worries or sadness. Who could have thought she's not breathing anymore. For what it's worth, who would've cared but Angel, right? There was a crumpled piece of paper on the floor.

**ANGEL( 6:23am)**

He's struggling to read the letter ever since the police gave it to him. Faith died with no evidence whatsoever. The authorities concluded it to be an aneurysm. He settled with that. He has to because somehow, he saw for the first time the content and peaceful look on the face of his slayer. Faith was, is and will always be his slayer. When he read it, he cried, he sobbed and he feels for her. Though the letter was not addressed to anyone, he dialed a number all too familiar for him.

"Buffy, will you get here asap? I have a package for you." He didn't wait for the blonde to speak "it's important. I'll wait til tomorrow.." he didn't hesitate to hang up. He's got a funeral to attend to…

**Whoa! stop there..**


End file.
